Kristin Bauer

Kristin Bauer

Birthplace: Racine, WI
You Know Her As: The woman with “man hands” in episode #137, “The Bizarro Jerry” on NBC’s Seinfeld.

Did You Know?: Growing up in with a family of hunting enthusiasts, Kristin’s childhood basement also housed a rifle range.

On November 26, 1973, Kristin Bauer was born in Racine. She grew up playing sports, riding horses and shooting guns. Her father was an avid horseman and gun collector, and her mother was a housewife who was involved in several charities. “Growing up in Wisconsin was a lot like ‘That ’70s Show,’” Bauer reminisced to Maxim magazine. “Actually, my dad had a shooting range down in the basement and an intercom system so that my mom wouldn’t be walking down with laundry and get shot.”

“After an idyllic childhood in Wisconsin, it’s only natural to seek out chaos, insanity and instability,” describes KristinBauer.com. “So after high school I went to art school in New York, St. Louis and Boston. If that wasn’t enough to kill my parents, I moved to LA in ’93. That same year, while walking down the street selling herbalife, on my way to my window-washing job, coming from my nanny job, I was asked to be in a movie making more in a day than I could in a week. I am sure I was horrible in the film, thank God no one ever saw it, but the seed was planted and here we are,” says Bauer on becoming an actress.

Bauer got her first break when she landed a regular role on the Fox Television Series “The Crew” (1995-‘96) as flight attendant Maggie Reynolds. Other recurring roles are those of receptionist Geneva Renault in “Total Security” (1997), beauty queen Candy Cooper in “That’s Life” (2000-‘02) and single mom Belinda Slypich in “Hidden Hills” (2002-2003). On her role as Slypich, a neighborhood single mom with her own X-rated Web site, Bauer told Maxim, “I also play a prostitute on ‘Boomtown (2002-‘03),’ so apparently ‘sex worker’ is my niche. Who knew?”

In 2001 she starred in the award winning short-film “Room 302.” She has also had minors roles in “Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion” (1997), starring Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino as well as “50 First Dates” (2004), starring Adam Sandler. Bauer also earned fame in the Indie film “Dancing at the Blue Iguana” (2000) as a stripper-turned-pornstar. “While researching ‘Blue Iguana’ on a porn set, I stumbled over an economy-size jar of K-Y. I recall thinking, I’ve never seen a gallon of K-Y before! Where would you even buy something like that?” Bauer joked to Maxim.

Indicating her range of interest, Bauer also has played the voice of superhero Mera in the animated series “Justice League” (2001-‘03). Through the years, she has also made several guest appearances in various TV shows, including “LA Law,” “Seinfeld,” “Everybody Loves Raymond,” “Dark Angel,” “Two and a Half Men,” “Star Trek: Enterprise,” “CSI” and “Desperate Housewives,” among others. Of all that Bauer has done, her most-well known role was playing “Man Hands” in an episode of “Seinfeld.”

She still studies drawing to this day and is an avid art collector, having lived in LA with her two dogs and one cat since 1994.

“I do love acting, but without the joy of creating, friendship, my religion, and my beloved pets, well, life wouldn’t be…life,” explains Bauer on KristinBauer.com.

Her main hobbies, besides art, are Karate and, at one point, a humorous T-shirt company with friend Liz Vassey called Neuroses to a T(ee).

Bauer has had many dating experiences, which include a fling with Fabio, that first prompted Bauer and Vassey to enter the T-shirt biz.

“Our taste in men is completely different,” she said to TV Guide, “but we’ve had some of the same horrible experiences.”

The decision to actually create the business came from an evening of ingenuity, according to The Enquirer.

“One night Liz and I were talking about how it would be better if people had to wear their neuroses on their chests- like ‘Hi, I have abandonment issues. How are you?’” laughs Bauer. They debuted this idea by wearing t-shirts that said, “Don’t Hurt Me,” to a TV press screening. After advertisements in TV Guide and Extra, the two needed to create a website (www.justdumped.com) and fill more orders than expected.

“Why not advertise your issue on a t-shirt? We all have them, so lets laugh about it!” encouraged Bauer.

Such celebrities as “Charlie’s Angels” Lucy Liu, ‘wasn’t picked for cheerleading,’ Emily Procter of “CSI: Miami,” ‘I use big words to impress people,’ and Tom Cavanaugh, TV’s “ED,” ‘Highly Breakable’ have all added to the celebrity cachet which made Neuroses to a T(ee) T-shirts very in demand. The most popular sayings were ‘ignore me and I’m yours’, ‘emotionally unavailable men rock’, ‘I buy a lot to fill the void within’ and ‘I date down.’ However large the demand of t-shirts was- the popularity of the company was fleeting; Neuroses to a T(ee) T-shirts have hit the wayside and are no longer available online.

Biography by Katie Doucet